On Thursday, NYPD officer Gilberto Valle was charged with plotting to kidnap and eat as many as a hundred women. Valle apparently assembled a file of fantasy meal dossiers, which included information like names, photos, and addresses, much of it gleaned from law enforcement databases. Naturally, some of the ladies in Valle’s life would like to know if he ever considered pairing them with some fava beans and a nice chianti. One of his Forrest Hills neighbors asked a New York Post reporter whether she was “on the list” (unsurprisingly, the Post doesn’t seem to have it) before worriedly pointing out that she would “fit in an oven.” (Valle bragged online about having an oven large enough to accommodate “one of these girls if I folded their legs.”)
A second woman was especially freaked out because Valle seemed normal: “Nobody was skeeved by him at all,” she explained. A male neighbor cited “three girls who are scared and concerned because he knows what buildings they live in.” And yet another woman described herself as “shaken” upon learning of Valle’s plans. We don’t blame her, as she used to walk his dog and had been in his house “many times.” She spoke for everyone in her position when she told the paper, “I don’t want to be on his list!” (Less so when she added, “I’m so thin, he would use me as toothpicks,” but we’ll give her a pass on that one.) Meanwhile, his wife, Kathleen Mangan Valle, has fled to Reno, Nevada.