Zombie Casts Ballot in Michigan

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zombie businessman Photo: Ian McDonnell/iStockphoto

An elderly Michigan man appeared to die while filling out an absentee ballot yesterday. "He had no heartbeat and he wasn't breathing," says hero bystander Ty Houston. "I started CPR, and after a few minutes, he revived and started breathing again." Upon awakening, the man asked whether he'd voted, and told his wife that the only things that matter are "that I love you and that I finished what I came here to do … vote." And BRAAAAAAIINNNNS.