What started as a relatively simple affair between the director of the CIA and his number one fan/biographer has quickly blossomed into an all-American soap opera. David Petraeus and Paula Broadwell, the only people in this fivesome who definitely consummated their illicit attraction, were undone by the anonymous, threatening e-mails Broadwell sent to "social liason" Jill Kelley, the real center of this storm (in Florida, obviously). Kelley passed the e-mails to her still-anonymous FBI agent friend, who also happened to send her shirtless photos, and he ran to a couple of congressional Republicans. Meanwhile, Kelley and Petraeus's former deputy General George Allen exchanged a few hundred flirty e-mail exchanges of their own, and now everyone involved is embarrassed. Confused? We've charted out the perfect love pentagon to help keep it straight.