Shirtless, Unsexy FBI Agent Really Does Look Like a Dummy

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Photo: Luis Carlos Torres/iStockphoto

Frederick Humphries, the FBI agent responsible for bringing down David Petraeus and humiliating everyone else in the pentagon of love, has insisted through a lawyer that rumors of the shirtless picture he sent to scandal spark plug Jill Kelley were greatly exaggerated. The Seattle Times has now proved his point, publishing the image, which, as previously explained, does indeed show Humphries posing bare-chested with SWAT practice target dummies that resemble him exactly. "Which one is Fred?" the e-mail subject line reportedly read, and when you see it, the joke makes total sense. As cybersex foreplay, it's all wrong.