Spartacus Defense Fails UBS Rogue Trader

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At least he'll always have this Photoshop. Photo: null/Corbis and Oli Scarff/Getty

Former UBS trader Kweku Adoboli, who caused a $2.3 billion loss through a years-long series of unauthorized trades at the Swiss bank, was convicted of fraud today and sentenced to seven years in prison by a London judge.

Things had been looking up for young Kweku, whose lawyer had come up with an inspired closing statement that compared his client — an aggressive, well-compensated Wall Street derivatives trader — to Spartacus, the Thracian slave of Roman lore.

But even Spartacus analogies weren't enough to sway a jury, which deliberated for five days before returning a guilty verdict on two of the six charges Adoboli faced. Maybe next time, try the Augustus defense instead?