David Carr Does Not Expect to Be Working for Donald Trump Anytime Soon

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Photo: Getty Images

Name: David Carr
Age: 56
Neighborhood: Montclair, New Jersey
Occupation: Columnist/Reporter New York Times, Author, The Night of the Gun. On Monday he'll be a guest at the Employee of the Month comedy talk show, alongside playwright Adam Rapp and comedian W. Kamau Bell.

Who's your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional?
Verlaine and the band Television, evoking air of New York that is mysterious and now unattainable.

What's the best meal you've eaten in New York?
I recently had lunch with Lena Dunham at Mission Chinese and felt like I was living inside the cartoon version of Girls.

In one sentence, what do you actually do all day in your job?
Type.

What was your first job in New York?
I worked at a dot com called Inside.com built by Kurt Andersen, Michael Hirschorn, and Deanna Brown. It was in very cool industrial space at the Starett Lehigh building. It was full of jelly bean Macs that looked really cool, but I never figured out how to work them.

What's the last thing you saw on Broadway?
Ivanov, which was not on Broadway, but at the Classic.

Do you give money to panhandlers?
Panhandlers never, buskers always.

What's your drink?
Diet Coke.

How often do you prepare your own meals? 
Four times a week. As a Midwesterner, I can grill almost anything. And I'd like to think that I could take the contents of anyone's refrigerator and put it in a sauté pan with carbohydrates, vegetables, and protein and make some magic. 

What's your favorite medication?
Tums. Take them chronically.

What's hanging above your sofa?
Six collages by Montclair artist Peter Jacobs made out of the New York Times from dates that are significant in our family history.

How much is too much to spend on a haircut?
$18 plus $7 tip.

When's bedtime?
1 a.m.

Which do you prefer, the old Times Square or the new Times Square?
Old, definitely. There is no place left to cop anywhere and the plushy mascots seem to be multiplying.

What do you think of Donald Trump?
That his bid to buy the New York Times probably won't get a lot of traction.

What do you hate most about living in New York?
The shopping and texting Euros on Broadway Soho. Give me the tourists in Times Square any day.

Who is your mortal enemy?
Used to be Michael Wolff, but we have a sort of working detente now. And I was having big fights with Harry Shearer on Twitter but then I actually met him and turns out he is fun to hang out with. I need to get to work on new enemies.

When's the last time you drove a car?
10 a.m. this morning.

How has the Wall Street crash affected you?
My net worth dropped by $12.09 cents.

Times, Post, or Daily News?
NYT, baybee.

Where do you go to be alone?
Late movie, back row.

What makes someone a New Yorker?
A willingness to argue about the best bagel, route, or slice.