Kim Jong Un Giving Every Child Two Pounds of Candy, the Thing They Need Most

"Don't worry, I still have enough candy for myself too! Hooray candy!" Photo: Ed Jones/AFP/Getty Images

To celebrate his twelfth birthday on Tuesday, North Korean ruler Kim Jong Un is (according to state radio, so, probably not) sending 2.2 pounds of candy to every single child in the country, a tradition started by his equally insane grandfather in 1980. The boy-king has even "mobilised aircraft to ensure that each child in the country aged 10 or under received the candy gift in time." Analysts say the candy giveaway is supposed to help Kim foster "an image as a benevolent, caring leader," because there's nothing more caring and benevolent than using your country's meager resources to airlift gobs of candy to millions of hungry, malnourished children.