So it turns out the entire inauguration was a lie: Not only was President Obama actually sworn in the day before, but now the London Times has revealed that Beyoncé's amazing rendition of "The Star-Spangled Banner" was lip-synched. Why didn't she sing it live? Can Beyoncé even sing at all? Is America doomed?
These are just some of the questions the nation will be asking in the weeks and months ahead. One thing is certain, though: This is exactly the sort of demoralizing scandal that can only be properly announced via a classic New York Post headline.