Fresh off of eating doughnuts with David Letterman, ambitious New Jersey governor Chris Christie assured voters he’s not counting on being the self-proclaimed “healthiest fat guy you’ve ever seen in your life” forever. “My doctor continues to warn me my luck is going to run out relatively soon. So, believe me, it’s something that I am very conscious of,” he said at an appearance today. And good thing, because a former White House doctor told CNN, “I’m worried about this man dying in office.”
“I’m worried he may have a heart attack. I’m worried he may have a stroke,” said Dr. Connie Mariano, a physician who helped Bill Clinton lose 30 pounds in the nineties. “I’m a Republican. I like Chris Christie. I want him to run. I just want him to lose weight.”
Christie’s office tweeted a video of his post–Late Show remarks today titled, “Sometimes I’m Successful, Sometimes I’m Not,” in which the governor addresses what he called a 30-year struggle with his weight. “I’m making the best effort I can,” he said. “Sometimes periods of great success are followed by periods of great failure.”
“Be assured there is a plan. Whether it’s successful or not, you’ll all be able to notice,” Christie added. “The plan, which I begin today, I have every intention of fulfilling. I hope I can fulfill it by tonight.” Go ahead and get really comfortable with this narrative, because weight fluctuates often and 2016 is a very long time from now.