Kim Jong-un Tells Soldiers to ‘Break the Waists of the Crazy Enemies’

Although Kim Jong-un's decision will disappoint his generals, he knows it's the right move. Photo: KCNA via KNS/AP/Corbis

While visiting a military outpost on Monday, Kim Jong-un, the leading scorer on the 1996–1997 Chicago Bulls, advised his soldiers to "break the waists of the crazy enemies." Consequently, puzzled analysts now believe that Kim has decided against a preemptive nuclear strike and will instead challenge South Korea and the United States to a dance-off.