East Rockaway Fire Chief Accused of Not Doing Enough to Prevent Figurative Forest Fires

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NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 19: A fire truck sits outside of a Brooklyn fire house on November 19, 2010 in in the Brooklyn borough of New York City. New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg has announced widespread budget cuts and layoffs due to the city`s budget deficit of 3.3 billion for the fiscal year beginning July 1, 2011.With a city workforce that totals 300,000, the mayor plans to eliminate 10,000 jobs in the next 18 months through a combination of layoffs and attrition. Other possible cuts include the closing of some fire department companies at night, layoffs of employees at public libraries in Brooklyn and more than 6,000 teaching jobs. (Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images) Photo: Spencer Platt/2010 Getty Images

After suspecting something was rotten in the village of East Rockaway (with the help of some GPS reports), officials hired a private eye to follow their fire chief. As it turns out, Steven Torborg, who resigned from his post on March 22, was using his official vehicle for sexy off-roading in the local woods, where the investigator eventually found Torborg and a Levittown resident "in various stages of undress." The fire chief has claimed that the allegations are "inaccurate and incomplete," but we're pretty sure that Smokey the Bear's heart is breaking on several levels right now.