As per tradition, President Obama served as host Conan O'Brien's warm-up act at Saturday night's White House Correspondents' Dinner — and he did a pretty good job. After taking the podium to the strains of DJ Khaled's "All I Do Is Win," Obama opened his routine by asking the audience if they liked his entrance music. (They of course did.) "Rush Limbaugh warned you about this — second term, baby," he laughed. "We’re changing things around here a little bit." Here are some other highlights from the speech:
On aging: "These days, I look in the mirror and I have to admit, I’m not the strapping young Muslim socialist that I used to be. Time passes. You get a little gray."
On his cool celebrity friends: "This whole controversy about Jay-Z going to Cuba — it’s unbelievable. I’ve got 99 problems and now Jay-Z is one."
On the benefits of makeovers: "I recognize that this job can take a toll on you. I understand — second term, you need a burst of new energy, try some new things. And my team and I talked about it. We were willing to try anything. So we borrowed one of Michelle’s tricks. I thought this looked pretty good, but no bounce."
On the press: "The problem is, is that the media landscape is changing so rapidly. You can’t keep up with it. I mean, I remember when BuzzFeed was just something I did in college around 2 a.m."
On the future of the GOP: "I know Republicans are still sorting out what happened in 2012, but one thing they all agree on is they need to do a better job reaching out to minorities. And look, call me self-centered, but I can think of one minority they could start with. Hello? Think of me as a trial run, you know?"
On congressional deadlock: "We need to make progress on some important issues. Take the sequester. Republicans fell in love with this thing, and now they can’t stop talking about how much they hate it. It’s like we’re trapped in a Taylor Swift album."
He also took a quick break so that the crowd could watch some behind-the-scenes footage from Steven Spielberg's fake Lincoln follow-up, Obama, which features the President as Daniel Day-Lewis and Tracy Morgan as Joe Biden. (It makes more sense when you watch it.)
Obama closed his address "on a more serious note." He mentioned the victims of the fertilizer plant explosion in West, Texas and the Boston Marathon bombings, and went on to praise the first responders and law enforcement officers who helped them, as well as the journalists who covered their stories: "These men and women should inspire all of us in this room to live up to those same standards; to be worthy of their trust; to do our jobs with the same fidelity, and the same integrity, and the same sense of purpose, and the same love of country. Because if we’re only focused on profits or ratings or polls, then we’re contributing to the cynicism that so many people feel right now."