17 Other Ways Rand Paul Uses His Copy of the Constitution

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What can't it do?Photo: KAREN BLEIER/AFP/Getty Images

"Although Sen. Paul says he hasn't made a decision to run, he isn't coy about his ambitions to be a national force. 'My new notoriety allows me to talk about ways to make the Republican Party bigger and better, and to be part of the national debate,' he said, using a copy of the Constitution to block the sun from his eyes on a recent drive down a Kentucky interstate." —Wall Street Journal, April 22, 2013.

1. Spider squisher

2. Table-leg adjuster

3. Fan

4. Napkin

5. Back scratcher

6. Plate

7. Shovel

8. Shoehorn

9. Comb

10. Knife

11. Coffee scoop

12. Earmuff

13. Eye patch

14. Desperation Frisbee 

15. M&M launcher

16. Makeshift splint

17. Constitution referencer