17 Other Ways Rand Paul Uses His Copy of the Constitution

A protester hold a copy of the US Constitution during a "tea party" demonstration against taxes in Lafayette Park across from the White House on April 15, 2009 in Washington, DC. Coast-to-coast demonstrations against Obama's big-spending economic stimulus package are promised for the day that is also the deadline for filing federal income tax returns. The protests are named after the 1773 Boston Tea Party in which disgruntled Americans rebelled against British colonial taxes, an iconic moment in the path to US independence. AFP PHOTO/Karen BLEIER (Photo credit should read KAREN BLEIER/AFP/Getty Images)
What can't it do? Photo: KAREN BLEIER/AFP/Getty Images

"Although Sen. Paul says he hasn't made a decision to run, he isn't coy about his ambitions to be a national force. 'My new notoriety allows me to talk about ways to make the Republican Party bigger and better, and to be part of the national debate,' he said, using a copy of the Constitution to block the sun from his eyes on a recent drive down a Kentucky interstate." —Wall Street Journal, April 22, 2013.

1. Spider squisher

2. Table-leg adjuster

3. Fan

4. Napkin

5. Back scratcher

6. Plate

7. Shovel

8. Shoehorn

9. Comb

10. Knife

11. Coffee scoop

12. Earmuff

13. Eye patch

14. Desperation Frisbee 

15. M&M launcher

16. Makeshift splint

17. Constitution referencer