Police this week rescued a man who had been held for ransom by kidnappers in Queens for 32 days. It was a mostly terrible ordeal. Mostly: “Throughout the ordeal, Mr. Portugal was constantly abused, the authorities said. He was punched and kicked in the face and body, his hand was burned with acid, and he was threatened with death. But for his birthday, his captors bought him a cake.” Who knew cakes from kidnappers were a thing?