Manhattan Gym Sued for Slippery Semen Floor

Photo: Tim Pannell/Corbis

New York City man Marc Moskowitz claims he broke his shoulder when he slipped on a “foreign white substance” at the Bally Total Fitness on East 55th Street. The 66-year-old not-gay Moskowitz blames the culture of “cruising and lewd behavior” in the steam room, sauna, and locker rooms for the “bodily fluids and other evidence of sexual activity wherever it occurred throughout the gym.” How he differentiated between semen, soap, and lotion we will leave to the lawyers.