Sean Hannity Has ‘51-Year-Old Fat Guy’ Taste in Women, Vices

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America's know-it-all dad Sean Hannity sat down with Playboy for one of the least sexy interviews of all time, revealing himself to be a basic white man. Asked about his pop-culture knowledge, Hannity broke with the Republican Party (and especially Newt) by declaring that he doesn't like Downtown Abbey. "I'm not oblivious to the world, but I'm not a big Downton fan," he said when asked to tell the difference between a BBC soap opera and a swimsuit model. "Kate Upton? I prefer Megan Fox. She's obviously very attractive. Angelina Jolie is very attractive. Scarlett Johansson is very attractive. But what do I know? I'm just a 51-year-old fat guy."

But, more important, has he ever smoked weed?

"I'm not answering any questions about that. Period. Nice try," he said, dodging the magazine's attempt to get a controversial quote. His general thoughts on the issue, though, are somewhat surprising, considering he's Sean Hannity. Here's his tortured answer about supporting decriminalization:

I don't think there should be jail terms. I believe in decriminalization. I do have a problem…how do I say this? Thomas Paine, in 1776’s Common Sense, said something to the effect that if the impulses of conscience were uniform and irresistibly obeyed, there would be no need for any other lawmaker. That not being the case, Paine goes on to describe the need for the formation of government predicated on the idea that government is going to protect you from people who would otherwise want to take your stuff and treat you unfairly. I prefer that people make good decisions. I like to drink beer on a hot summer day, but I don’t overindulge. I like a good glass of wine when I go out to dinner with my friends. If I have more than two drinks I take a cab or have somebody else drive home. My biggest fear about opening the door to legalization is that I’ve always believed, in spite of some disagreement, that marijuana is a gateway drug. According to everything I read, marijuana is more potent than it has ever been, and I believe that for a lot of people there is at least a minimal psychological, addictive component.

Yep, very dad-at-the-dinner-table.