George W. Bush Had Heart Surgery, But He’s Okay!

Photo: Ken Cedeno/Bloomberg News via Getty Images

During a routine physical examination yesterday, "a blockage was discovered in an artery" of George W. Bush's heart, according to a statement released this morning. "At the recommendation of his doctors, President Bush agreed to have a stent placed to open the blockage." Bush is probably in much better shape than you are, so you're screwed.