Like any serious news program, Morning Joe on MSNBC opened with a clip of Miley Cyrus's ass-tastic VMAs performance from last night, and host Mika Brzezinski was having none of the grown men snickering. "I wouldn't make a joke of it, actually," she said to the group, stacking some papers seriously. "That was really, really disturbing. That young lady, who is 20, is obviously deeply troubled, deeply disturbed, clearly has confidence issues, probably an eating disorder, and I don't think anybody should have put her onstage. That was disgusting and embarrassing." But "We Can't Stop" is a pretty catchy song, right, Mika?
The moral outrage went on for another five minutes but was totally one-sided, with Joe Scarborough playing the experienced but gravely concerned dad. "We've got kids watching the show!" he said to producers for playing the MTV clip of Miley, recalling the time Britney Spears "slithered on the floor with the big snake" and how it ruined his sons and their female friends.
But it was Mika whose Tipper Gore shtick turned the concern-trolling up to eleven, masking her contempt and slut-shaming in faux worry. "They don't think that's attractive, Miley. Nobody does, actually," she said. "That was not attractive. That was not fun. That was not funny. That was really, really bad for anybody who's younger and impressionable, and she's really messed up."
"The whole thing was cringe-worthy, but I feel bad for her. She is a mess. Someone needs to take care of her. Someone needs not to put her onstage and make a complete fool of herself," Brzezinski continued. "It was pathetic, desperate, sick. She's clearly disturbed. She doesn't look healthy." So there's your Morning Joe diagnosis. Wait until they find out about the full extent of the twerking epidemic.