Today in ‘We’re Not Even Mad, That’s Amazing’: Man’s Phone Was Stolen on the Subway As He Sneezed

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"A straphanger closed his eyes for a split second last week — while he sneezed — and had his cellphone snatched out of his hand," DNAinfo reports. While that must have been incredibly frustrating for the victim, and should be terrifying to anyone who regularly falls into a deep sleep on the subway in the middle of a podcast (a.k.a. everyone who listens to podcasts on the subway), we can't help but appreciate the remarkable situational awareness and catlike reflexes demonstrated by the reported 18-year-old culprit. We'd advise him to use his obvious talents for good instead of evil, but until then ...

We're not even mad, that's amazing.