Government Shutdown Has D.C. Looking for Casual Sex on Craigslist

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While the federal government braces itself to basically stop working, the men of Washington, D.C., see an opening. Whether it's topical humor or practical planning, the message is the same: Republicans should not be the only ones doing the screwing. Wanting to "complain about Ted Cruz" as foreplay, however, might be a red flag.

For the nonpartisan adventurous women, there's the guy hoping you "love to smile." He'll be in town for meetings: "While i hope the shutdown will not ruin my plans, I was looking to find a local sexy woman or a fellow traveler."

Or this stud, in search of "a nice distraction to kiss the worries away." Good luck, America.