Jon Stewart Thinks We’re Going to Bomb Syria for Obama’s Penis

By

After filming his movie Rosewater in Jordan for the past few months, Jon Stewart returned from his long hiatus just in time to stake out a position on a potential military campaign against Syria, a debate that has split liberals and conservatives alike. And it turns out that Stewart is not a fan. "Oh right, we have to bomb Syria because we're in seventh grade, and the red line they crossed is actually a dick-measuring ribbon." His suggested name for the "ineffective," limited strikes being proposed: Operation Just the Tip.