Dennis Rodman Didn’t Do Anything Useful During His Visit to North Korea

By
Basketball diplomat.

Dennis Rodman has returned from his latest trip North Korea, where he hung out with repressive dictator Kim Jong-un. As he promised before departing for Pyongyang, Rodman did not speak to Kim about releasing Kenneth Bae, the American missionary sentenced to fifteen years of hard labor in North Korea for committing "hostile acts" against the country. (The Worm previously said that he would use his unique access to Kim to help free Bae.) "Guess what? That's not my job to ask about Kenneth Bae," Rodman told reporters after landing in Beijing. "Ask Obama about that, ask Hillary Clinton about that. Ask those assholes." (United States special envoy Bob King was scheduled to travel to Pyongyang to discuss the matter last week, but North Korea abruptly canceled the talk.)

Rodman showed off some vacation photos of him engaged in various acts of chilling with Kim. The pair apparently spent the five-day visit laughing, eating, hugging, and watching basketball. Rodman also said the two discussed "peace" and "sports," and that Kim "loved" Rodman's newly launched Bad Boy vodka. "[Kim]'s my friend for life. I don't care what you guys think about him. I don't give a shit what people around the world think about him," Rodman said. Rodman's fierce devotion to his pal would almost be touching, if Kim wasn't a brutal third-generation authoritarian and Rodman wasn't a desperate attention whore.