Last night at the Waldorf Astoria in Manhattan, many of the city’s most rarefied names shared the same air for the annual Alfred E. Smith charity dinner and allowed Stephen Colbert to gently make fun of them. Mayor Bloomberg, Governor Cuomo, Cardinal Dolan, and Police Commissioner Kelly were among the boldface names present for the $1,500-a-plate meal — they raised $3 million for children in need — and each got a little burn from the Comedy Central host, whose line-walking in the presence of important rich people is unparalleled.
Dolan: “Earlier this year, the Cardinal came this close to being selected pope. But he blew it in the swimsuit competition. I would’ve gone with a one-piece.”
Bloomberg: “Tiny, tiny man. The real reason he doesn’t want drink cups larger than 16 ounces is because he’s afraid he might drown in one.”
Cuomo: “I didn’t know you could tear yourself away from the excitement that is Albany on a Thursday evening.”
Christine Quinn: “New York City is the only place in the world where the lesbian candidate is too conservative.”
Ray Kelly: “Are you here alone, or did you bring the whole biker gang?”