While the rest of us are playing real-estate checkers, the Romneys, the best family in America, are playing real-estate chess. Not a week after we learned that Craig Romney has a giant slide inside his house, the Salt Lake Tribune reports that Mitt Romney’s new home in Holladay, Utah, will include a secret room behind a swiveling bookcase.
What differentiates Romney from every bad guy on Scooby-Doo is that, according to the unfinished home’s architectural drawings, the roughly eleven-foot-by-five-foot room will be lined with cabinets and used for “office storage.” The vague and innocuous name notwithstanding, it seems obvious that this room was built specifically to house Romney’s infamous tax files, the ones that were totally not damning at all and yet were guarded during the presidential campaign as if they contained the secret to cold fusion. It’s also possible that the hidden room is where the Romneys plan to store their emergency pancake-mix supply.
Either way, everybody knows about the room now. And old man Romney would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for you meddlin’ reporters.