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the sports section

Red Sox Bullpen Cop’s Arms Are Stuck Like That Forever

When David Ortiz hit a game-tying grand slam in the eighth inning of last night's playoff game between the Red Sox and the Tigers, Steve Horgan — a Boston cop stationed inside the Sox bullpen — had the stadium's best view. As the ball sailed out of the park, Horgan raised his arms and jumped up and down in celebration while Torii Hunter of the Tigers flipped over the wall and was never seen again. The moment made Horgan instantly famous (he's on the front page of the Boston Herald and the Boston Globe sports section today), and after the game, he kept his arms raised while posing with Sox owner John Henry, who probably thanked him for overshadowing Racist Fan Who Tore a Foul Ball From a Woman's Hands.

Horgan kept doing this, with the arms:

Medical experts are not sure at this point whether Horgan's arms are stuck like that forever, although they may as well be, because he will never be able to walk around in public again without stumbling-drunk Sox bros yelling at him, "Do the arms! Do the aaaaarms!"

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