Proud, pretentious American destroyer Ted Cruz has always been a bit difficult. Since elbowing his way into the national consciousness, the Texas Republican has been outed as a hater of "minor Ivies" like Penn and Brown, and is said to have come to Princeton as a 17-year-old with a book titled Was Karl Marx a Satanist? "I would end up fielding the [girls'] complaints: 'Could you please keep your roommate out of our hallway?'" his undergrad roommate at Princeton Craig Mazin told the Daily Beast over the summer. ("I would rather have anybody else be the president of the United States. Anyone," Mazin added. "I would rather pick somebody from the phone book.")
Today, Mazin — who just so happens to be the screenwriter behind Scary Movie 3, Scary Movie 4, and The Hangover III — took to Twitter to share more stories about his fateful time in a crappy room with Cruz. It's about what you'd expect, but funnier.
Via memory lane, allegedly:
When Ted Cruz was my roommate, he'd endlessly hit the snooze button. I asked him to stop. He wouldn't. So I Krazy-glued it. #learnfromthis— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) October 11, 2013
@visentin Two people locked in stony silence? One of whom had SERIOUS body odor issues? Who was the one who was not me? Okay. It's your TV.— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) October 11, 2013
@ihveanaddiction Not good enough. I deserve the Earth. All of it. Forty eleventy million billion trillion dollars. And a rocket ship.— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) October 11, 2013
@isaactalks I was young and naive and thought voters weren't complete brain dead.— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) October 11, 2013
@DanSwerdlin What you see before you now is EXACTLY who he was back then. He does not change. The way zombies and mold don't change.— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) October 11, 2013