Rob Ford Admits to ‘Mistakes,’ Vows to Drink Less

By

Today, during his weekly radio show, mayor of Toronto and Internet celebrity Rob Ford acknowledged that he has "made mistakes," though he did not specifically say whether smoking crack in front of a video camera was among his many errors in judgement. He did, however, apologize for getting wasted at a street festival this summer and stumbling around city hall with half a bottle of brandy on St. Patrick's Day. "Unfortunately, I cannot change the past," he said. "I can just move forward and learn from the past which I’ll assure I am doing."

Ford also vowed to "slow down" on his drinking — and, just in case that doesn't work, he also said that he intends to hire a chauffeur to prevent him from drunk driving all over Canada's friendly streets. Unsurprisingly, Ford maintained his refusal to step down from his job, even though the cops are now in possession of footage of him smoking crack. Interestingly, he did ask Toronto's police chief to release that tape because "Toronto residents deserve to see it and people can judge for themselves." We encourage the authorities to obey that order.