'Tis the season where many of us bustle around with pots of poinsettia and strings of lights, attempting to make our everyday homes filled with painstakingly chosen furniture a little more festive. Haul out the holly, put up the tree before my spirit falls again, etc. Not so for the family of Jamie Dimon, who this year decided to pick up tennis rackets and lay waste to their entire living room.
Or so it seems from their holiday card:
The annual greeting from the CEO of JP Morgan Chase, which this year incurred a record-breaking $13 billion fine over its mortgage practices, contains panorama-sized photos of Dimon and family fairly wilding throughout their manse, destroying everything in their paths. In the opening image, matriarch Judy* cackles madly as her racket-wielding husband whips tennis balls at art, objects, and even one of his own daughters, while the others cower in fear. In subsequent images,
an unidentified young man son-in-law Joey leap-frogs over a group of vases and animals defile the furniture. And why not? Between the fines, the trading losses, the Chinese bribery scandal, and now this Madoff business, 2013 was the year that proved there is nothing Jamie Dimon can do to lose his job; he can afford to destroy and redecorate his damn living room as many times as he likes. The rest of us, not so much. But that’s okay, the Dimon card’s message counsels: “All you need is love.”
*This post previously referred to the family matriarch as Laura. She's Judy.