Florida State Wins National Championship, Proving Tim Tebow Is Basically God

By
A future Tim Tebow? (Just kidding.) Photo: Stephen Dunn/Getty Images

Thanks to a smooth last-minute drive by quarterback Jameis Winston, the Heisman Trophy winner who was not charged with rape earlier this season, the Florida State Seminoles barely defeated the overachieving Auburn Tigers in last night’s last-ever BCS National Championship. The 34-31 final score was basically what godly new ESPN analyst Tim Tebow said it would be:

“Auburn might be a team of destiny, but tonight, Florida State is deeper from top to bottom,” predicted Tebow in the pre-game show. “With Jameis Winston and Telvin Smith's leadership in the fourth quarter, I think they win 35-31.” He was off by a point, so he’ll have to settle for being Jesus.