New York Competition No. 12: Star Wars in New York

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Welcome back to the New York Magazine Competition. The best of last week's submissions, including the winner, appear below this week's call for entries.

To recap: On Monday mornings, we'll lay out a challenge and offer a sample responses. Enter in the comments section, or on Twitter with the hashtag we've provided, and on Sunday the editors will select a winner. Criteria are highly subjective, but heavily retweeted and favorited posts will have an advantage. The prize is a year's subscription to New York in print or a two-year subscription to the iPad edition (winner's choice). Full rules are here.

COMPETITION NO. 12: STAR WARS COMES TO NEW YORK. Please rewrite a line of dialogue (from any of the six films) reset to take place in our town. For example:

     “Dante... I am your father.”

     “When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good you will not, unless Botox you have had.”

     “I used to bullseye womp rats on the F train back home. They're not much bigger than two meters.

     “Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Especially if a rent-controlled lease you may inherit."

     “The Millennium Falcon? It’s the ship that made the run to JFK in less than twelve parsecs.”

Post your submission in the comments below, or on Twitter with the hashtag #starwarsnewyork. 

RESULTS OF COMPETITION NO. 11: HISTORICAL REALITY TV, in which you were asked for the name of a premodern reality-television show.

HONORABLE MENTION TO:

Judge Judas
WHYGODWHY

America's Funniest Tintypes
AHOLMES

Keeping Up with the Plantangenets
Peter Duffy ‏@duffy718

Say Yes To The Corset
HENDOISM

Dancing With The Czars
BATHROOMSEXDIARIST

Wild Fiefdom
GABEGIRL

Survivor: Ireland
MIKEXCITE

Million Doubloon Listing
MC5

Here Comes Typhoid Mary!
KRIS10B

So You Think You Can Forage 
Ali Schwartz ‏@AliElizabethS

Gomorrah's Next Top Sodomite
YUMMOVISION

Ripley's Believe It! Or Be Burned At The Stake
BOBSCHECHTER

The Biggest Leper
PAMPL

Here Comes Shaka Zulu
Jeff Schwartz ‏@Jeffurry312

Silk Road Truckers
RAPTORESQ

Iron Chef Prussia
77BC

Rome's Next Top Vestal Virgin
Alasdair Shaikh ‏@ShaikhInTheCity

Inside the Raptor's Studio 
Sarah Mogin ‏@SarahMogin

New Deal or no New Deal
NYCITYOFMIND

Judea Shore
REGISMAYHEM

Peerage Wars
Allison Braley ‏@allisonbraley

Steerage Wars
MOUTHFULLERTON

Who Wants To Marry an Ox Owner?
BENJI

America's Funniest Cave Drawings
A.C. DeLashmutt ‏@ACDeLashmutt

Pimp My Carriage
EMiLY SHiNN ‏@destruct_shinn

Egyptian Eye For the Greek Guy 
Alex B ‏@alexembee

So You Think You Can Joust
Mike Garrison ‏@MikeGarrison16

AND THE WINNER IS...

Jon and Kate Plus 13, Minus 9
NDESQ