Washington Redskins Hire All-Star Team of Villains

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Ari Fleischer, center, presides over meeting of superstar political advisers tasked with saving the Redksins name. Photo: DC Comics

The Washington Redskins, fighting off campaigns to force them to change their team name, have hired not only comically sleazy Washington lawyer Lanny Davis but also consulted an entire roster of Beltway super-villains. Dan Snyder’s approach to any problem is to throw vast sums of money at overrated big names whose best work is behind them, so it is fitting that he has compiled an all-star team of mendacious sleaze.

The roster includes Lanny Davis, hapless Clinton hanger-on wannabe and adviser to dictators and crooks:

I only represent clients who have a compelling cause, or at least a bank account. Photo: Alex Wong/Getty Images

Ari Fleischer, the face of credibility:

Daniel Snyder's leadership has brought the Washington Redskins to new heights, and we fully expect the team to triumph in Sunday's Super Bowl. Photo: TIM SLOAN/AFP/Getty Images

Frank Luntz, crafter of useless focus groups and a spinmeister so sickeningly dishonest he even nauseates Frank Luntz:

My soul is in pain. Photo: Neilson Barnard/Getty Images

And, perhaps most amazing, George Allen. Yes, an organization that’s fighting off allegations of racial insensitivity has decided to consult a man who was remembered as a racist by his high school classmates, remembered as an even more blatant racist by his college classmates, voted against the Martin Luther King Holiday, had a confederate flag and a noose, and then finally lost his Senate seat for being caught on camera using a racial slur:

I now use the American flag, but Dixie will rise again. Photo: T.J. Kirkpatrick/Getty Images

Who’s really good at fighting off accusations of racial insensitivity? George Allen! Yeah! That guy never loses!

Davis, Fleischer, Luntz and Allen — together they will join forces and rule the galaxy take a lot of Daniel Snyder's money, and then eventually lose.