NSA Chief Assures Jimmy Carter That They Aren’t Spying on Him

By

Jimmy Carter recently revealed that when he wants to communicate with a foreign leader privately, he mails a letter because "I believe if I send an email, it will be monitored." In an interview with Bret Baier tonight, perpetually exasperated NSA Director General Keith Alexander said the NSA is not keeping tabs on our 39th president. "Well we're not, so he can now go back to writing emails," said Alexander, adding that if they were, they "would be held accountable and responsible." If he could issue the same personal assurance another 300 million times, the whole NSA scandal would blow over in no time.