Al Sharpton Insists He Is a Cat, Not a Rat, in Catchy Denial

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In response to The Smoking Gun's report that he worked for the FBI as what the tabloids called a "rat" and a "mob snitch" in the '80s, Reverend Al Sharpton clarified today, "Rats are usually people that were with other rats. I was not and am not a rat, because I wasn't with the rats. I'm a cat." He added, "I chase rats." So now that is cleared up.

"The only thing I was embarrassed by," Sharpton said, "was those old, fat pictures."