Today, in fights we would pay to watch, Bill "Papa Bear" O'Reilly, who's listed at six-foot-four, has challenged New York City Mayor Bill "Sandinista" de Blasio, who has a slight edge at six-foot-five-and-seven-eighths. Or rather, O'Reilly has guaranteed victory in what could be the first battle of the coming class war.
In front of a friendly home crowd at Long Island's Church of Saint Mary, O'Reilly, along with fellow Fox News hosts Megyn Kelly and Brian Kilmeade, delivered a rousing three-part sermon before taking audience questions, Gawker's J.K. Trotter reports. "Have we reached the point where there are more people on the free ride — for example, the people on the free ride getting welfare — than those who are actually working for a living?" asked someone who'd obviously already made up his mind. "It's growing," O'Reilly told the choir. "I'm hoping we can reverse that, but it's growing."
"I don't personally know the people who think somebody else should support them," said Megyn Kelly. "Everybody I know works hard, and has come from a family who works hard."
"I want to introduce you to de Blasio," quipped O'Reilly, delighting the crowd.
Kelly added, "The thing is, you work so hard, and you finally start earning some money, and you have people like de Blasio telling you you're not paying your fair share, that you’re somehow bad, that you need to pay more, and you haven't earned it."
"I want to beat him up," said O'Reilly in a flat affect, to what sounds like a standing ovation.
Seriously, folks — it's a fair fight. Let's make this thing happen. For charity, or whatever.