While you were going about your business, not melting your brain by watching cable news, Sean Hannity, “America’s oldest hall monitor,” was spending five shows on the “horrors of spring break.” “You will believe what they found,” said Jon Stewart, “because you know.” There was, believe it or not, bikini b-roll; as Stewart put it last night, the specials were “less of a news story and more of a reason to spend a week running wildly inappropriate T&A footage.” The sexist commentary was just the cherry on the daiquiri.
Also featured: Fox News panelists discussing how to properly shotgun and funnel a beer, the difference between good and bad cocaine, and Stewart saying “twerk.” Spring break forever, bitches.
