31 Insanely Irrelevant Acronyms on the FBI’s Epic List of Internet Slang

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TGITE (this guy is the enemy). Photo: JEAN-PHILIPPE KSIAZEK/2012 AFP

“This list has about 2,800 entries you should find useful in your work or for keeping up with your children and/or grandchildren,” reads an 83-page glossary of “Twitter Shorthand” complied by the FBI. (To give you an idea of how out of touch it is, the report also cites MySpace as a social-media venue where the terms might be used.) The so-called “leetspeak” dictionary was obtained by an intrepid journalist at MuckRock via Freedom of Information Act request, and is a hilarious, bloated document in the war on cybercrime. Beyond the basics (LOL, YOLO), it features many unruly and worthless acronyms we’ve never seen before and can say with some level of certainty an FBI agent never will either.

For example:

1. ALOTBSOL (“always look on the bright side of life”)

2. BFFLTDDUP (“best friends for life until death do us part”)

3. BMGWL (“busting my gut with laughter”)

4. BOGSAT (“bunch of guys sitting around talking”)

5. BTDTGTTSAWIO (“been there, done that, got the T-shirt and wore it out”)

6. BTWITIAILWU or BTWITIAILWY (“by the way I think I am in love with you”)

7. DFLA (“disenhanced four-letter acronym”)

8. DITYIM (“did I tell you I’m depressed?”)

9. DWISNWID (“do what I say not what I do”)

10. FMDIDGAD (“frankly my dear I don’t give a damn”)

11. FMTYEWTK (“far more than you ever wanted to know”)

12. GNSTDLTBBB (“good night sleep tight don’t let the bedbugs bite”)

13. ICBINB (“I can’t believe it’s not butter”)

14. IITUWUTMAS (“if I tell you will you tell me a secret”)

15. IITYWTMIWHTKY (“if I tell you what this means I will have to kill you”)

16. IITYWTMWYBMAD (“if I tell you what this means will you buy me a drink?”)

17. IITYWTMWYKM (“if I tell you what this means will you kiss me?”)

18. IOKIYAR (“it’s okay if you are Republican”)

19. MAWOY (“may angels watch over you”)

20. NALOPKT (“not a lot of people know that”)

21. OOSOOM (“out of sight out of mind”)

22. PHAT (“pretty hot and tempting”)

23. PMYMHMMFSWGAD (“pardon me, you must have mistaken me for someone who gives a damn”)

24. QWERTYUIOP (“bored”)

25. SHCOON (“shoot hot coffee out of nose”)

26. SJ (“Society of Jesus”/“San Jose”)

27. SYTYCD (“so you think you can dance”)

28. TANSTAAFL (“there ain’t no such thing as a free lunch”)

29. WYLABOCTGWTR (“would you like a bowl of cream to go with that remark?”)

30. WYLASOMWTC (“would you like a saucer of milk with that comment?”)

31. YKWRGMG (“you know what really grinds my gears?”)

In conclusion, AYFKMWTS? (Are you fucking kidding me with this shit?)