Ted Cruz Renounces Canadian Citizenship, Becomes 50 Percent More American

Photo: Alex Wong/2013 Getty Images

Senator Ted Cruz's long quest to prove that his allegiance lies solely with the freedom-loving, free health caredenying portion of North America is finally over. Nine months after Cruz applied to formally renounce his Canadian dual citizenship (he was born in Alberta to an American mother and Cuban father), he received notification by mail on Tuesday that he's now 100 percent American. "He’s pleased to receive the notification and glad to have this process finalized," said spokeswoman Catherine Frazier. Between cutting all ties to Canada and nemesis Eric Cantor's defeat, everything's coming up Ted Cruz. This calls for a huge, celebratory stack of maple syrup-covered pancakes ... uh, having a Coke and shooting something.