Donald Sterling Hires Private Investigators to See if Any Other NBA Leaders Are As Awful As He Is

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Photo: NBC

Racist Instagram expert Donald Sterling, apparently determined to be the subject of bad press and public ridicule until the day he dies, is reportedly now trying to dig up dirt on the NBA and its leadership. According to the Associated Press, the 80-year-old Clippers owner has hired four — four! — private investigation firms to examine the league's finances, including the compensation of commissioner Adam Silver and former commissioner David Stern. They're also said to be looking into whether the NBA's 29 other team owners have ever made "any off-color jokes, or racist or sexist remarks." Surely there must be something. 

An unnamed person told the AP that Sterling is giving a six-figure budget to the project, and that the investigators now have 30 days to produce results: "Whoever delivers the best [material] is going to stay on for the next round and it might be all four of them," said the source, who added that this particular search for closet skeletons is "not a small undertaking." 

The same person explained  that Sterling — who is still suing the NBA — "reluctantly" decided to make things more personal this week, when the league urged a judge to allow his estranged wife, Shelly, to follow through on her plan to sell the L.A. Clippers to Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer. "He realized these guys will literally go to any low to get this sold," said the source. "Even if it gets [him] nothing other than exposing all these guys and shaking up the league and seeing a change in the leadership of the league, it'll be worth it to him." Donald Sterling, classy as always.