Republicans to Hold 2016 Convention in Worst State in America

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Photo: Handout/2013 Cuyahoga County Sheriff's Office

In what is either a desperate bid to hold onto the core of its shrinking base, or else cut-off-your-nose-to-spite-your-face punishment of the national media, the Republican party announced it will hold its 2016 convention in Ohio. (Cleveland, to be precise.) Ohio is a classic swing state, filled with low-information voters who are far too busy making love to rafts or urinals or simply tearing off their own penises with their bare hands to pay close attention to the issues.

On the plus side, nobody there cares that much if the state is named after Hitler, so the locals may be receptive to political extremism.