Welcome back to the New York Magazine Competition. On alternate Mondays (or, this week, Tuesday), we lay out a challenge and offer a sample responses. Enter in the comments section, or on Twitter with the hashtag we've provided, and the editors will select a winner. Criteria are highly subjective, but heavily retweeted and favorited posts will have an advantage. The prize is a year's subscription to New York in print or a two-year subscription to the iPad edition (winner's choice). Full rules are here.
COMPETITION NO. 25: SEUSS FOR OUR TIME. Please offer a few words, however crude, for grown-ups in the manner of Theodor Seuss Geisel. For example:
We’re in Iraq. We face attack.
I do not like that we are back.
Your one-night stand was fun. I see.
But now you really need Plan B.
So much blood! And crunching bones!
I miss my Sunday Game of Thrones.
Enter on Twitter with the hashtag #seussforourtime, or in the comments thread below, by July 9.
RESULTS OF COMPETITION NO. 24: FIRST REACTIONS, in which you were asked for initial remarks on a major occasion made by a noted figure.
HONORABLE MENTION TO:
“Ouch!” —Isaac Newton
“I don’t think ‘Deep Throat’ means what you think it means.” —Bob Woodward
“You really expect me to believe that?!? What’s his name? What’s his motherf$&@’n name?!?” —Joseph
“What’re they going to do? Try to impeach me?” —Richard Nixon
“He was here a minute ago.” —Mary Magdalene
“I don’t do ceilings.” —Michelangelo
“As long as we’re at it, can we cut it to G-6?” —Stephen Harper, François Hollande, Angela Merkel, Shinzo Abe, David Cameron, and Matteo Renzi
“Oh … I thought you said you’re the furrier.” —Eva Braun
“That noise? Probably just thunder.” —a dinosaur, 66 million years ago
“What?” —Vincent van Gogh
“I’m a comedian. You want me to do a news show?” —Jon Stewart
“If Oprah says the pills work, that’s good enough for me.” —Dr. Oz
“I said I don’t like the shoes! Shoes!” —John Galliano
“Coffee … where’s coffee?” —Rip Van Winkle
AND THE WINNER IS:
"What's the paper say?" —Thomas Dewey