New York Magazine Competition No. 25: Seuss for Our Time


Welcome back to the New York Magazine Competition. On alternate Mondays (or, this week, Tuesday), we lay out a challenge and offer a sample responses. Enter in the comments section, or on Twitter with the hashtag we've provided, and the editors will select a winner. Criteria are highly subjective, but heavily retweeted and favorited posts will have an advantage. The prize is a year's subscription to New York in print or a two-year subscription to the iPad edition (winner's choice). Full rules are here.

COMPETITION NO. 25: SEUSS FOR OUR TIME. Please offer a few words, however crude, for grown-ups in the manner of Theodor Seuss Geisel. For example:

    We’re in Iraq. We face attack.
    I do not like that we are back.

    Your one-night stand was fun. I see.
    But now you really need Plan B.

    So much blood! And crunching bones!
    I miss my Sunday Game of Thrones.

Enter on Twitter with the hashtag #seussforourtime, or in the comments thread below, by July 9.

RESULTS OF COMPETITION NO. 24: FIRST REACTIONS, in which you were asked for initial remarks on a major occasion made by a noted figure.


“Ouch!” —Isaac Newton

“I don’t think ‘Deep Throat’ means what you think it means.” —Bob Woodward

“You really expect me to believe that?!? What’s his name? What’s his motherf$&@’n name?!?” —Joseph

“What’re they going to do? Try to impeach me?” —Richard Nixon

“He was here a minute ago.” —Mary Magdalene

“I don’t do ceilings.” —Michelangelo

“As long as we’re at it, can we cut it to G-6?” —Stephen Harper, François Hollande, Angela Merkel, Shinzo Abe, David Cameron, and Matteo Renzi

“Oh … I  thought you said you’re the furrier.”  —Eva Braun

“That noise? Probably just thunder.” —a dinosaur, 66 million years ago

“What?”  —Vincent van Gogh
— jhartarl

“I’m a comedian.  You want me to do a news show?” —Jon Stewart

“If Oprah says the pills work, that’s good enough for me.” —Dr. Oz

“I said I don’t like the shoes! Shoes!” —John Galliano

“Coffee … where’s coffee?” —Rip Van Winkle


"What's the paper say?" —Thomas Dewey