New York Magazine Competition No. 25: Seuss for Our Time

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Welcome back to the New York Magazine Competition. On alternate Mondays (or, this week, Tuesday), we lay out a challenge and offer a sample responses. Enter in the comments section, or on Twitter with the hashtag we've provided, and the editors will select a winner. Criteria are highly subjective, but heavily retweeted and favorited posts will have an advantage. The prize is a year's subscription to New York in print or a two-year subscription to the iPad edition (winner's choice). Full rules are here.

COMPETITION NO. 25: SEUSS FOR OUR TIME. Please offer a few words, however crude, for grown-ups in the manner of Theodor Seuss Geisel. For example:


    We’re in Iraq. We face attack.
    I do not like that we are back.

    Your one-night stand was fun. I see.
    But now you really need Plan B.

    So much blood! And crunching bones!
    I miss my Sunday Game of Thrones.

Enter on Twitter with the hashtag #seussforourtime, or in the comments thread below, by July 9.

RESULTS OF COMPETITION NO. 24: FIRST REACTIONS, in which you were asked for initial remarks on a major occasion made by a noted figure.

HONORABLE MENTION TO:

“Ouch!” —Isaac Newton
—onvacation


“I don’t think ‘Deep Throat’ means what you think it means.” —Bob Woodward
—riverhawk


“You really expect me to believe that?!? What’s his name? What’s his motherf$&@’n name?!?” —Joseph
—BambooLounge


“What’re they going to do? Try to impeach me?” —Richard Nixon
—rgqueen


“He was here a minute ago.” —Mary Magdalene
—RustyShackelford


“I don’t do ceilings.” —Michelangelo
—gianna13

“As long as we’re at it, can we cut it to G-6?” —Stephen Harper, François Hollande, Angela Merkel, Shinzo Abe, David Cameron, and Matteo Renzi
—YAK52

“Oh … I  thought you said you’re the furrier.”  —Eva Braun
—jade7243

“That noise? Probably just thunder.” —a dinosaur, 66 million years ago
—competitionaficionado

“What?”  —Vincent van Gogh
— jhartarl

“I’m a comedian.  You want me to do a news show?” —Jon Stewart
—fcabarbie

“If Oprah says the pills work, that’s good enough for me.” —Dr. Oz
—KimBarget


“I said I don’t like the shoes! Shoes!” —John Galliano
—Tracybelindas


“Coffee … where’s coffee?” —Rip Van Winkle
—@lilindian

AND THE WINNER IS:

"What's the paper say?" —Thomas Dewey
flirtysanchez