The brutal reign of little Bobby “Ice Cream Shop!” Tufts in the town of Dorset, Minnesota — population somewhere between nine and 28 — is finally over. The 5-year-old “lost” the “election” after two “terms” in “office” on Sunday, the AP reports. (The town, in what’s been called America’s least democratic election, allows citizens to vote as many times as they want, for $1 per vote, and the winner is selected randomly. Tufts somehow won twice.) “I’m gonna let James do it,” he said of his little brother, like this is some kind of dynasty. “He’s 2.” The real winner was a 16-year-old, so the town can look forward to its new EDM anthem.
But we’ll always have this: