Girls Now Officially Better Than Boys at Everything

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It was established long ago, during the cootie-contracting days of yore, that girls rule and boys drool. Women are smarterlive longer, can have multiple orgasms, and also have prettier hair. Men, meanwhile, collect each other's severed dicks in glass jars.

For further evidence of women's superiority, look no further than the recent results of New York's standardized math tests. This year, girls outperformed boys on the math portion of the exam, with 35 percent of female third through eighth graders passing, compared to 33.4 percent of boys the same age. It's a slim difference, but an important one — especially considering the dearth of women in STEM majors and professions.

Maybe if boys tried leaning in more, they might get higher test scores.