The Ice Bucket Challenge Is a Medical Disaster

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How many more must freeze before the madness ends?

The ALS Association has raised millions and millions of dollars for scientific research by persuading Americans to record videos of themselves being doused in ice-cold water. The trend has gotten so far out of hand that Ethel Kennedy challenged President Obama to douse himself. Has nobody considered the dangers associated with exposing a president to hypothermic shock? Have we already forgotten what happened to William Henry Harrison?

Obama has wisely spared himself. Meanwhile, hundreds of thousands of well-meaning Americans press blindly ahead, perhaps unaware of two scientific facts relevant to the problem of lifting heavy water buckets over a person’s head: Water is slippery and heavy. Having unqualified people attempt to lift heavy, slippery things over their own heads or others’ will lead to lots of things like this:

Somebody is going to have to start a new charity to benefit victims of ice-bucket-related blunt-force head trauma.