Uber Is Now a One-Stop Shop for All Your Booty Call Needs

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Photo: Victor J. Blue/Bloomberg via Getty Images

If your dude keeps "forgetting" to pick up condoms and then when he goes to the bodega to get them they're mysteriously "all out" and then — oops —  he "left his wallet at home" and inevitably "it's okay I'll just pull out," then Uber has your back.

The car-service app is testing a new delivery system called Corner Store, where in addition to ordering a car to chauffeur you to and from hookups, you can also have it deliver items like tampons, toilet paper, and — yes — condoms. The convenience economy just wants to delight your sex life.

Unfortunately for Uber, the condom-delivery space is already pretty crowded, which makes us wonder why humans seem to have such a difficult time locating and purchasing condoms. Or are people just not willing to waste quality make-out time by rushing out to Duane Reade? I wouldn't know, because I do not do sex stuff. What is sex, anyway? Is it like twerking?

Corner Store is currently only available in Washington, D.C., but this is New York, people: If you need a free condom, just sneak into an NYU dorm and steal some from the bowl next to the RA's room. Godspeed.