The Palin Family Can’t Resist a Good Old-Fashioned House Party Fight

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ST. PAUL, MN - SEPTEMBER 03:  (L to R) Republican U.S vice-presidential nominee Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin holds her son Trig Palin as Track Palin, Bristol Palin and Willow Palin look on during day three of the Republican National Convention (RNC) at the Xcel Energy Center on September 3, 2008 in St. Paul, Minnesota. The GOP will nominate U.S. Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) as the Republican choice for U.S. President on the last day of the convention.  (Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images)
Photo: Win McNamee/Getty Images

A mere six years ago, Sarah Palin was a close election and a heartbeat away from the presidency of the United States. Today, she’s proprietor of a subscription-only web channel who can’t keep her family from drunkenly brawling with their fellow guests at a house party.

The story, which has leaked out via Alaska-based blogs Amanda Coyne and Political Gates to Wonkette and Gawker over the course of this week, finally made it to the Alaska Dispatch News yesterday. According to the paper, the police are investigating a 20-person “verbal and physical altercation” that took place at a birthday party for four people, one of whom was former First Dude Todd Palin.

None of the involved parties wanted to press charges at the time of the incident and no arrests were made at the scene. Alcohol was believed to have been a factor in the incident. Some of the Palin family members were in attendance at the party,” said Anchorage police spokeswoman Jennifer Castro. Of course, the local bloggers painted a much more detailed picture of the event, with the Palins front and center.

According to Amanda Coyne’s sources, the Saturday night gathering of people from the “Iron Dog-type/snowmachine” crowd was “nice and mellow” until the Palins — Sarah, Todd, 23-year-old Bristol, and 25-year-old Track — rolled in:

There’s beer, of course, and maybe other things. Which is all fine, but just about the time when some people might have had one too many, a Track Palin stumbles out of a stretch Hummer, and immediately spots an ex-boyfriend of Willow’s. Track isn’t happy with this guy, the story goes. There’s words, and more. The owner of the house gets involved, and he probably wished he hadn’t. At this point, he’s up against nearly the whole Palin tribe: Palin women screaming. Palin men thumping their chests. Word is that Bristol has a particularly strong right hook, which she employed repeatedly, and it’s something to hear when Sarah screams, “Don’t you know who I am!” And it was particularly wonderful when someone in the crowd screamed back, “This isn’t some damned Hillbilly reality show!” No, it’s what happens when the former First Family of Alaska comes knocking. As people were leaving in a cab, Track was seen on the street, shirtless, flipping people off, with Sarah right behind him, and Todd somewhere in the foreground, tending to his bloody nose.

Here are some other fun details, via Amanda Coyne and Political Gates:

  • Bristol’s 5-year-old son Tripp did not witness the melee, as he was asleep in a parked limo outside.
  • When the host of the party asked Bristol to leave, she “planted her feet, stood straight up, brought her arm back and cold-cocked him right in the face. And then she did it again, about six more times, before he pushed her away, and she fell, and Todd appeared.”
  • Witnesses say “some in the crowd were trying to restrain Sarah, who was clawing to get involved in the fight, which had moved to the cul-de-sac outside of the house. She was also screaming loudly. She wore platform high-tops with the American flag on them, and Bristol wore big, round shades.”

And perhaps the best part? “There was a band hired for the party, and they kept on playing during the whole fight!” Yee-haw.