Obama Brushes Off Jealous Boyfriend With Cool Banter

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President Barack “Mr. Steal Your Girl” Obama was demonstrating the advantages of early voting in Chicago this morning when a man made the ill-advised decision to try and out-charm him. “Mr. President, don’t touch my girlfriend,” the guy joked as he passed the two in adjacent voting booths. At which point Obama turned the charisma up to 11 like it was 2007. “I really wasn’t planning on it,” said the president. “There’s an example of a brother just embarrassing me for no reason, just for no reason whatsoever.”

Then he couldn’t help but ham it up. “I can’t believe Mike, he is such a fool,” Obama joked, imagining what the couple would tell their friends. “But fortunately, the president was nice about it, so it’s aiight,” he added. Then he gave her a hug and a kiss anyway.

Lame duck Obama is going to be so much fun.