Teen Shoved Into Locker Last Year Now Making More Money Than God

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Photo: Brian Finke/© BRIAN FINKE

While you slave away teaching our nation’s youth how to spell or saving people from burning buildings or serving food to the homeless, teens typing things onto a computer are getting paid dramatically more than you. Welcome to the future! 

Betabeat has a list of what tech interns at some of Silicon Valley’s major companies have made in the past, and the results will make you want to quit your job and rush back to school for a programming degree:

Quora $8250/month + $1500 housing
Palantir: $7500 + housing
Pinterest: $7500 + $1.5k/month housing
Upthere: $6400/mo + $900/mo housing
Jane Street: $10,400/month
Dropbox: $8.5 salary + $5 housing stipend or provided housing (it is nice)
Google: $7000/month Housing Stipend: “I think 9K?”
Square: $7500/mo + $1500/mo housing (Doctorate Student Internship)
LinkedIn: $44/hour (around $7600/month) + 5k relocation (one time)
Amazon Seattle: $6k salary + $2.5 per month housing ($8500)
Amazon SF: $7.5k salary + $3500/month
Fitbit SF: $9.3k/month
Edmodo: $7k/month
Apple: $6k and $3.5k per month housing ($9500)
Coursera KPCB: $7000/month and housing $1000/month + Macbook Pro
Facebook: $6.8k/mo (return) and housing: $1k/mo or corp housing
Foursquare NY: $6000/month and housing: $5k stipend
Microsoft Seattle: $7.5/mo + Housing $2.5k + $5k returning intern bonus
Zynga: $8k/mo

At least your job is more emotionally fulfilling? 

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Tech Interns Are Making More Money Than You