Pope Confirms All Dogs Go to Heaven

Photo: Stacey Axelrod/ASPCA

The leader of the world’s one billion Catholics has affirmed what animal lovers already knew: Dogs are great, and are every bit as deserving of salvation and eternal life as human beings. “One day, we will see our animals again in the eternity of Christ,” Pope Francis said in response to a little boy sad about his dog’s death. “Paradise is open to all of God’s creatures.” Besides, heaven wouldn’t be much fun without them.