Famous Civil-Rights Lawyer to Defend Santacon Attendees’ Right to Puke on the Sidewalk

By

SantaCon organizers have hired famous civil-rights attorney Normal Siegel to defend their civil right to dress up like Santa Claus and puke up Bud Light on your front doorstep. Though the pub crawl is supposed to happen this Saturday, organizers still aren’t sure where exactly they’re going to hold it, mostly owing to mounting backlash from people in neighborhoods like the Lower East Side and Bushwick who don’t want the Santas riding in on their Uber sleighs and peeing on the Christmas lights. The organizers peg the city’s increasing intolerance of the event on newbies who just don’t understand its ethos. “It’s about art in public space, creativity, donning gay apparel and being festive,” an anonymous SantaCon organizer told Gothamist. Also: drinking till you can’t feel your face.

Santacon Hires Famous Civil-Rights Lawyer