De Blasio Promises Not to Kill Any More Groundhogs This Year

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On Groundhog Day last year, shortly after the start of his first term, Mayor de Blasio did the unthinkable: He dropped Staten Island Chuck, a move that lead to the noble rodent’s death a week later. The sting of that horrible transgression has clearly passed, because now de Blasio has jokingly promised not to chuck Chuck II. Though it’s unclear whether he’ll attend the groundhog ceremony this year, he said at a press conference this morning,”We have a task force of emergency preparedness officials and health officials who are trying to figure out how to wrap me in platinum so that no harm will befall me or any groundhog in the vicinity of me.” I find nothing funny about the health and safety of a famous groundhog, sir.